One thought above all has encouraged me over the past few months. It is the thought of seeing Jesus face to face. There is no other thought that gives me more joy or accountability.
Though my imagination is small in comparison to what it will really be like, I can imagine seeing my King from a distance for the first time and knowing it is Him. Not because I know Him from a picture, but because when I see Him He will fully embody love, truth, courage, beauty, and glory in a way that only Jesus can. In the presence of our King His infinite greatness and wonder will be made evident.
When I see Him and He looks at me with eyes that say, “I love you more than you could imagine,” I will be overwhelmed by His grace, remembering my sin debt that He passionately and mercifully paid. The immensity and weight of His love will cause me to fall into His arms, or down at His feet (I’m not really sure which. Guess I’ll have to wait and see). I imagine that I will involuntarily shout with joy because I can’t contain what is happening in my heart. A shout that no words can possibly touch because no words can explain this love. I imagine that the greatness of His love will never be as real or more deeply experienced, as it will be in that moment.
I can’t think of this without tears. What a wonderful longing. – But with the thought of seeing Jesus in eternity comes a recognition that – right now matters. In other words, on the day I stand before Him, will I be able to say that I lived the love that He poured upon me by sacrificing His life so I could have life; or will I look back and see that my life was wasted on things that don’t really matter and are temporal? Such a thought makes me want to live more earnestly for my King in the now.
Let’s live today in light of seeing the King of kings face to face. And let us live for Him in a way that will grant us joy on the day we stand before Him. Let us embrace our Savior and the life He would call us to. Let us walk as He walked (1 John 2:6), loving as He loved.
Let us not be defined by them. Let us be defined by HIM. They can only define us if we let them. But we are no longer theirs. We are His.
The worlds rules, categories, and labels are chains that bind. His truth, love, and grace set us Free to live.
As Dylan Thomas has said, “Do not go silently into that good night.” Even if we must be rebels, let us follow our King into freedom. Standing upon His grace, let us be whatever He bids us to be and not what they would tells us we are. Let us fight for the heart of freedom, the heart of Christ, instead of the comfort and routine of permanent “stuckness.” Fear has nothing to do with freedom! Let us be free from fear finding grace and love in Christ!
Out of His love let us go out and love without hindrance or limit, ceasing from judgement, being abundant in grace, caring about people more than what they think. Is this not how our King loves us? He’ll do what is best for us, even when we are angry and confused at what He’s doing.
Let us gravitate toward all that is REAL. Toward Christ and all that inspires and gives life.
Then let us pour this freedom, life, love, joy, and courage upon others.
Only 4 Days left until our Book Launch for Victory In Christ: A 30 day devotional. We are so excited and truly hope that God moves and transforms hearts! Will you pray with us?
There are also 3 days left for you to enter our BIG GIVEAWAY! So enter below, one person will win some great goodies! Winner will be announced the day of our book launch, Monday 9.1.14!
Today, we wanted to tell you a little bit about why we wrote #VictoryInChrist!
But first, I wanted to share some amazing new music from my husband Drew. He seriously amazes me with his creativity and talent. Please listen and let us know what you think in the comments below!
This next song, “Christ Alone Our Victory” – actually goes along with our new devotional, Victory In Christ! And we are giving away a FREE Download! Find out how you can get yours HERE!
Now let’s learn more about this new devotional, shall we?
This is not meant to be a book. It is meant to be an experience. An experience of victory in God.
Over the past five years we have lived among Christians in three different states; Oklahoma, Connecticut and Texas. In each of these experiences, we came across many that struggled as we did with feeling defeated in Christianity.
When we say we felt defeated, we don’t mean that we lost hope in the truth of the Bible. Perhaps some have. But what we are referring to is more of a struggle with God’s truth penetrating the surface of our hearts. It is the separation between merely knowing the Word, and being empowered by God to be a living work of His grace. It is not only allowing conviction to move our hearts to repentance. But it is to progress past that to the place of victory, in which His gracious power abides within us, setting us free.
It’s kind of like, we’ve gotten really good at feeling convicted of our sins and realizing we need God. But when we have Him, we don’t know what to do next, so we just shrink back into feeling convicted again. We seem to struggle in identifying with the victorious God who makes us “more than conquerors” (Romans 8:37). Why?
Because we keep focusing on everything we do wrong. And who can experience God’s victory when all we can see is our failure.
But, if we identify with God’s victory, it becomes our victory as well. When we look to Him, and away from us, His love washes away all that hinders us from His peace that surpasses understanding (Philippians 4:7).
This 30 day devotional was written to help inspire believers to overcome all that hold them back because God is greater than our limits.
Each daily devotional contains scripture, application, and a challenge. Most devotionals begin with a story to help you identify with the struggle for victory in that specific area. The struggles we chose for this devotional are universal and most of us are battling them right now. Some of the trials addressed are: Destruction, Weakness, Sin, Idols, Judgement, Failure, Suffering, Fear, Grief, Injustice, The Past.
Each day contains a section called VICTORY IN ACTION. This is where you can reflect on your personal journey by journaling your thoughts and what God may be teaching you. But the real victory is when you put what you are learning into action. We give you challenges specific to the struggle you are overcoming that day. They stretch you, grow you and equip you for living out a life of victory.
After you’ve completed each day, we welcome you to join the Love Uncensored Movement by sharing the status update provided for that day on social media. Simply copy the status update provided for that day and feel free to tag @loveuncensored and hashtag #VictoryInChrist. This is a powerful way to share Christ’s transforming victory in your life and encourage others to embrace God’s victory in theirs.
You may want to invite a friend or Bible study group along with you on this journey. Because as we know, iron sharpens iron.
Remember that Jesus is for you. He loves you and wants you to experience the fullness of life that is only found in Him.
Have you ever made a mistake? A big one perhaps? Ben did. He even had a felony on his record to prove it.
“Ugh, I hate filling out job applications. It’s as if I will never be free from my past mistakes. No one will understand if they find out what I did. And even if they did sympathize, I’ll still be disqualified from getting the job.”
Feeling defeated, Ben walked out with the unfinished job application in hand. As he left through the revolving doors, the tears started streaming down his face. He felt the weight of shame and embarrassment heavy upon his shoulders.
He couldn’t go home to his wife and newborn baby and tell her he chickened out, again. So he sat on the curb right outside of the office building and cried out to God, “Lord, You have made me new. I am not who I once was. Please help me overcome my past so my family can have a future.”
As Ben finished praying, a man from his church walked toward the entrance. The man recognized Ben from his baptism last weekend and they started talking. Ben was surprised to find out that he was also the Hiring Manager. They walked back in the building together and Ben was able to open up about his past, and explain that he is not that person any more.
Twenty minutes later, Ben walked back through the revolving doors. But this time, he felt the opposite of defeat. Because Ben got the job.
Midway to his car, he couldn’t hold it in anymore, “THANK YOU LORD!” He yelled as everyone in the parking lot looked at him like he was crazy. But he didn’t care. Ben’s heart pounded like a bass drum in his chest as he thought, “If God can overcome my past, perhaps there’s no limit to what He can do in my life.”
You know that saying, “The past doesn’t define you.” Well that couldn’t be more true. Especially for followers of Christ who have been washed clean and transformed by the blood of Jesus. We are no longer slaves to our past.
“I am He who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins.” -Isaiah 43:25
Because of the sacrifice of Jesus our sins have been erased and God remembers them no more! How freeing is that? 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”
The past is dead and gone, and Jesus is making us a new creation now, setting us up for a victorious future.
Sometimes the past comes back to bite us. And sometimes Satan or our minds try to convince us that we are who we were. But every time that happens, we can overcome those thoughts with the truth that this is a new day in the Lord. Yesterday does not own us. God’s mercies are new today (Lamentations 3:22-24). We are no longer defeated, but we are victorious in Christ.
By trusting in Jesus, the past is forgotten; His victory becomes our present and future.
VICTORY IN ACTION
A victory is won when we embrace our story for what it is, and become unafraid to share it. Augustine once said, “There is no saint without a past, and no sinner without a future.” Every one of us has sinned. We’ve all messed up. No exceptions. The miraculous part of our story is not that we can be perfect, because we can’t. The miraculous part is that God can turn ashes into beauty.
So your challenge is to write out the real story of what God has done in your life. What was life like before Jesus? How is life different now that you are His and He is yours?
After you write your story, share it with at least one person. If it is easier, start with someone close to you.
Embrace your story. In so doing, God will set you free from the haunting of your past.
SHARE
@loveuncensored By trusting in Christ, the past is forgotten. His victory sets us free from who we once were. #VictoryInChrist
In honor of our one year blogiversary and our upcoming book launch on September 1st, we wanted to have a special giveaway to thank all of our readers!
And now for the fun part! Enter in the giveaway below for a chance to win some of our favorite things.
In August 2013, we began the Love Uncensored movement towards inspiring people to live authentically for Christ. It is hard to believe that it has been one year already! God has grown us so much this year. Writing is tough, especially when your goal is to be transparent and authentic in your faith. Sharing our struggles in marriage, ministry, fitness and parenting is a very vulnerable thing to do and only God can give us the strength to share in hopes that He is moving and transforming lives through our writing. We pray that God has used Love Uncensored to encourage you to be set free and live victoriously in Him.
Over this past year we have written out our love story and released an eBook that is truly a precious keepsake to us. We wanted to share how God wrote our love story and be able to encourage others that God is writing yours as well.
I am also honored to be a part of the Unveiled Wife Community where I contribute marriage articles on a regular basis. Most of our readers have found us from Unveiled Wife and we are so very thankful for all of you. Jen Smith (the Unveiled Wife) and her husband Aaron have been a huge help and encouragement to us in our ministry through blogging. We are so thankful for their friendship and guidance this year.
Love Uncensored was also voted one of the best blogs for wives according to Dating.com! We were blown away by this honor and praise God that He is blessing our writing.
And this summer we have been working on our next book entitled Victory In Christ: A 30 day devotional. We are so excited to release it on September 1st! It is our prayer that you will truly be awakened to God’s amazing victory in all areas of your life.
In honor of our one year blogiversary and our upcoming book launch on September 1st, we wanted to have a special giveaway to thank all of our readers! Without you, none of this would have been possible. We still feel like the Love Uncensored movement is just beginning and we know God has great and mighty things in store for us as we grow and walk together in authenticity.
And now for the fun part! Enter in the giveaway below for a chance to win some of our favorite things.
The other day my wife and I were discussing how sometimes in the church we can be guilty of judging others for simply being themselves. We assume if someone isn’t like us, that it’s a bad thing. Being different really isn’t the problem. The real problem is that we are trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.
We are all different shapes, but we lean toward trying to fit others into the mold we’ve grown accustomed to. This is one reason why loving others can be so difficult. It’s easy to make reflexive judgements when people are flawed in a different way than we are. We may feel like we are “better” than another, or even envious of another… the point is, if people can’t be defined by what we’re comfortable with, we find it difficult to cope.
But what if God created us all differently for a reason? What if there is beauty in the chaos? What if the person we are judging is gifted in areas that can be a wonderful blessing to many?
I mean, let’s imagine: A world where everyone was the same. Everyone looked the same, acted the same, thought the same. A world where everyone had the same passions, the same strengths and weaknesses. The same skill set…
What an extremely boring world. There would only be one kind of person. So it would be impossible have great mathematicians, scientists and musicians? And that leaves out millions of other skill sets. But if everyone was the same, and we were all artists, we wouldn’t enjoy scientific advancement and understanding. Then again, if we were all scientists, we wouldn’t experience the beauty of art. – Point being, our differences fill in gaps. Together we are stronger. Together we are whole.
It is not our differences that fraction our world. It is our inability to unite in Christ to use our differences for His glory. God created each of us uniquely for a great purpose. He created us to unite for His good. Cherishing our differences and using them for the sake of love.
So the next time we are quick to judge a person, let’s take a step back and look at that persons strengths instead. It may not be that that individual is necessarily “wrong”. It could just be that they are different.
What if, instead of trying to fit people into one color, one shape; we looked at God’s creation as a beautiful mosaic of colors and shapes? May God bless us to see beauty in the chaos. For what looks chaotic to us, is merely God’s divinely brilliant plan being brought together. Glory be to our King!
The purpose of the cheerleader is to LEAD in cheering or rooting for a team. Basically, a cheerleader is supposed to lead in encouraging a team to victory. And this is exactly what we are called to be with our spouses. To be the biggest cheerleader our spouse has. This is for guys and girls. So guys, don’t check out just just because of the title.
You might think that you aren’t a very cheery person. That’s okay. You don’t have to be. There are three very easy ways to encourage your spouse: 1) Encourage them in their strengths. 2) Encourage them in their pursuits. 3) Invest in their pursuits.
Encouraging Your Spouse’s Strengths
Out of the three, this is the easiest way to encourage your mate. All you have to do is look for the many things your spouse does well, then dote on them as they do them. Do this as often as possible to build them up. Love your spouse sincerely in this way, without being fake or using flattery, and you will find yourself actually falling deeper in love with your spouse. Why? Because you are thinking of all that is wonderful about them instead of focusing on their faults.
Encourage What Your Spouse Pursues
Every person has a passionate desire to excel in a certain area. This purposefulness is placed in each of us by our Creator to be used for His glory. And you have a great power over your spouse in whether they feel encouraged to excel in their passions. For you can crush their heart by discouraging their pursuit or their lack of ability in the area they are pursuing. OR, you can become a great source of encouragement and motivation in their pursuit. Just so it is clear, your spouse wants you to believe in them more than you believe in their weakness. So even if the task seems impossible, believe in your spouse and make it evident that you do. If you do not believe in them as their best friend and spouse, they will feel that and will be less likely to succeed. Not only this, but your lack of support will cause resentment in your marriage. – Your encouragement matters to your spouse.
Invest In Your Spouse’s Pursuit
The only way you can encourage your spouse more than telling them you believe in them, is actually showing it. So husbands & wives, put your money where your mouth is and get involved in what your spouse is pursuing. Ask them how you can help them in their pursuit, and then do what they ask of you. You will score a lot of points if you genuinely say this, “Love, I believe in you. So much so that I want to be involved. How can I be a part of it?” If you prioritize what matters to your mate, they will feel loved by you.
Though there are other ways to encourage your spouse, these three areas will do wonders to marriages if they will be put into practice. So be your spouse’s greatest cheerleader. Be their greatest supporter and genuinely believe in them and what they are pursuing! This a wonderful part of getting to love our spouse. To see what wonders God works in the heart of our spouse through us cheering them on!
It is difficult for many Christians to live in a culture that only puts the puppy love phase of dating onscreen. Then the movie ends with a couple just before, during, or just after the wedding, and we are left to think they live happily ever after. But, what does happily ever after actually look like? We usually don’t see that. Why? Because the process and time that real love takes in order to root itself into our hearts would not be as engaging to watch. The problem with letting movies define how love should be is it is an incomplete picture. But let’s get this straight right now… the puppy love portion of onscreen tales pales in comparison to the beauty of a deeper, growing love with your mate that is built upon the foundation of Jesus Christ. Please do not buy into the LIE that a a long lasting, ever growing love has to be boring. It can be wonderfully exciting and way more enjoyable than settling for an endless string of short relationships.
One of the saddest things I think I’ve ever heard is someone say, “We fell out of love, so we called it quits”. Though I know this happens, I also know that it is up to a husband and wife to choose NOT to fall out of love.
When I first got married, I thought that when you added sex to the equation, all would be wonderfully seductive and love would automatically multiply. But… I was mistaken. Not that Melissa isn’t sexy. I think she’s truly amazing inside and out. I thoroughly enjoy who she is and what she looks like! But the point is, I misunderstood how love grows. Somehow I was under the impression that love in marriage would be easier. But I found out as many do, that the mysterious and somewhat mischievous excitement of dating was fading quickly in the beginning. And it made me feel like a failure in my love for Melissa. But what I found was, I expected love to be like it was in the movies… but I didn’t know what to do once the movie part was over.
To add to the whole “movie love” mentality I came to realize that I was more of a typical guy than what I’d like to admit. Honestly, I enjoyed the excitement of the chase in dating, but once we got married, I was foolish enough to assume Melissa was mine. That the excitement of the chase was over. But that’s where I was WAY OFF! And this is where most of our world gets marriage wrong. Because this is when the excitement actually begins.
Here’s the thing men… and ladies… each human heart is a unique ocean, filled with endless depths, and more caverns and crevices than we could fully know. Such is the grace of our Creator to make every heart different, complex, and therefore beautiful. Meaning, we might be married to a person, but the chase of knowing and loving them is not over until we breathe our last. And in that revelation, the excitement I thought was lost when we got married was reawakened.
A new fervor to know the depths of who my wife is and what makes her tick became a very curious thing to me. And the old saying that, “you don’t truly enjoy something until you learn about it”, took on a whole new meaning. This is when Operation: Love Her commenced. I began an ongoing number of experiments to see what she enjoyed most. I would try to hug her more often and take note of her reaction. I found out that though she likes hugs, this was not a deal breaker for her. As was mentioned in a previous post, I began to do more house work, and found that she sincerely felt more loved and understood when I did this. I tried giving her a massage one evening and found that I really could never go wrong by doing this. So, more massages for Melissa.
I tried many things that she didn’t enjoy as well. But, that’s an important part of the process too.
I also began asking more questions about her. Who she was. I asked her more about her desires and dreams and how I could help in her pursuit of them… And such are the basic elements of the never ending adventure of beginning to love your mate. There is nothing boring about this. It is truly exciting to love and serve the one that God has given you in marriage. It’s kind of like a treasure hunt. But the treasure only increases as love grows, and the adventure never ends. One of the exciting things I have realized is that by the grace of our God, Melissa never stops growing and changing. So the person she was five years ago, and the person she is now are vastly different. This means that if I am continuing in the game of chase, I will also evolve in loving her as her desires and wants change.
All this to say – The excitement and love in your marriage has NOT died unless you have killed it. But whether love has died, or is fresh, there is hope. No matter where you are, you can begin afresh today by choosing to pursue your spouse in the same way and more than before you got married. Get to know the endless depths of their heart, and to love them in the way they desire to be loved.What’s amazing about loving a person with such passion is not just the grace you’re giving them, but the healing and building up affect it will have on your marriage.
One of the hardest things for any Christian in America to do is WAIT. I mean, we can get so many things so easily, and so quickly. From fast food, to television, to the internet, we are inundated with the expectation of instant gratification. It is what we have grown accustomed to, and so we feel entitled to it.
That’s why it is no surprise that we naturally rebel against all the waiting. But God asks us to wait for many things: For His help in our trials; for Him to move in great power; and among other things, His help in finding a mate. What a confusing and almost impossible reality for us to comprehend. And yet, when we trust God in each of these areas, His way always turns out best.
When it comes to dating, some of us combine our fast food cultural values with our anxiousness to fill an intimacy void, and out comes a very desperate person. Let’s just call this person a Desperate Hopeless Romantic… DHR for short. For those who have struggled with and even suffered from the DHR being awakened within you, please know that I have been in your shoes.
The DHR is often afraid of being alone forever. The Christian DHR wants to wait on the Lord but wrestles with whether He will actually grant them a mate. A Christian DHR can become trapped in forlorn seeking and grasping for what they are afraid of missing out on, that they miss out on the joy of Christ through this process. It is fear that feeds the DHR within us. So if you struggle with being a DHR in your dating life, I am writing this blog for you.
Four things I want to share with the DHR that may help in the waiting process:
1. Jesus loves us more than we can imagine. He desires us to find a greater joy than we can desire (John 15:11). But it is important that we recognize, it is only in Him that we find fulfillment. And when it comes to finding a mate, He has a plan, and is working it out. You don’t have to worry about it. Set your focus on Him. Pray about it, yes, and pray about it fervently. But do not worry about it. God will write your love story. Trust in Him who is able to do far more than we can ask or fathom (Ephesians 3:20). Put your life in His hands.
2. Take the focus off of self. One of the best ways to cure the DHR within is to immerse ourselves in the heart of God. Then, to take up the banner of His grace and go out serving our community and beyond so that His love may shine on all we come in contact with. When we take the focus off of our own wants, and set our eyes on the greater purpose of God, our perspective changes. And we see how many hurting people are out there. We refocus all that misplaced passion put into being a DHR, and put it into the joyous work of serving others for the sake of the Gospel.
3. When lonely, spend time with friends (of the same sex) who love Jesus. This is so important. Because many DHR’s run out desperately searching for a mate when they feel lonely. It’s like a reflex to the fear of being alone. But this will only cause more pain in the long run. Trust me. I’ve been there.As I said in a previous blog, when we compromise Mr or Mrs Right for Mr or Mrs Right Now, we only cause ourselves more pain in the big picture. So, instead of looking for love in the wrong places, spend more time with people that do love you but won’t take advantage of you. Ladies, spend time with your girlfriends, and guys spend time with your guys friends. This will curve the loneliness, and it will allow you to stay occupied.
4. When bored, invest in Christ-centered things instead of Me-Centered things. One of the easiest ways to wander into struggling hardcore with being a DHR is to get bored. Boredom tends to naturally lead to self-gratification. As people we’re prone to this. But one of the best things we can do when we recognize ourselves beginning to get bored is, find something Christ-centered to get involved in. And once again, take the focus off of self and put it on God.
Moral of the story: Seek God, trust God, look to God.
Make God and His purposes everything to you, and He will fill in the gaps until He provides a mate. Trust Him completely and the Desperate Hopeless Romantic inside will become a healthy Romantic. In the case of a Romantic who trusts God, He will write such a beautiful love story, and build a wondrous foundation of love into you and your mate. For when our marriages are built upon the Rock, they will not only last, but they will grow and thrive into what marriage is meant to be. And that is worth waiting for!
Oh goodness. The wonder of Online Dating 🙂 This should be fun to write about. Before digging my heals in, Melissa found this hilarious video, poking fun at Christian Online Dating. But just to be clear, this is not the type of “Christian” Online Dating we are endorsing. In fact, in some ways this video is totally over the top. I mean, I have pity for this couple. But, that’s kind of what makes this video funny. So we hope you enjoy.
Alright, now that you have seen that ridiculous example of fake Christianity, let me just say that this post, as well as the previous post regarding dating in general, was written to answer a question Melissa and I received regarding what we thought about online dating. The young lady who asked the question had read our love story and knew that Melissa and I had met online. But I feel I must confess that Melissa and I didn’t actually meet through a Christian Dating website. Our meet-cute was no where near as classy as a Christian website. No, we met in the interweb slums of Myspace…
I kid… sort of. But what’s funny is, I used to throw snide jokes at some of my friends for meeting their significant other online. And then God brought Melissa into my life via the internet. And such is the gracious irony of our God’s sense of humor. Sometimes I wonder if He might be laughing as He works in these ways. As if to say, “This is going to be hilarious when they realize I’m granting them something good from the very thing they’ve judged for so long”. In my case, I learned a great deal about laying down my judgement against internet dating.
With that said, I have mixed impressions regarding Christian Online Dating. And since I am bi-polar on the issue, I am going to have some fun with a pros and cons list, and I’ll let you (the reader) do the deciding for yourself about whether you are FOR or AGAINST:
PRO – God can use the internet as His matchmaking tool. I met my wife who is an incredible woman of God, online, so I can vouch for God working through that means. Also, I have heard many wonderful testimonies from those I trust regarding their love stories that wouldn’t be possible without an online dating service and/or social media. – But, please don’t be one of those people who meets someone online whom you clearly should NOT be dating, and you say, “But God used this as a matchmaking tool to bring us together”. No, He didn’t… When God is in it, the outcome will glorify Him.
CON – Horror Stories. I think we’ve all heard about the crazy people who act like a respectable person on the internet, and then end up being a psychopathic murderer. – But before we get scared away from internet dating altogether, let me say that I would advise more writing back and forth for an extended period of time before actually meeting in person. That way you get to know the person and weed out the psychos who will most likely latch on to those who are too desperate and anxious for due process. Also, when you agree to meet a person you have come to know via a website, meet them in a public place. Then keep it public until you know you can trust them.
PRO – It’s much easier to reject people online. It’s sad but true. Think of the last person who asked you out in person, but you didn’t want to go out with them… was it hard to reject them? – If it was a friend then I hope it was difficult. Why? Because you care for them and don’t want to hurt their feelings – Now, what if a person you’ve never met before, asks you out, online? Would they be easier to reject? I think so. Why? Because you have no emotional connection to them. You can say yes or no with less reserve. So strike one up for the Online Dating!
CON – The Fakers. You know what I’m talking about. The ones who embellish their profile with impressive but less than honest information. Like little Billy who is actually four feet tall at 10 years old, but has set up a profile claiming to be a 30 year old who models for Calvin Klein. And for some reason, his profile pic looks a lot like Justin Timberlake… J/K. But the sad thing about agreeing to go on a date with a more capable Faker than little Billy is, you might not know they are a Faker until you meet them for a date. Because they have their role down pat. For the ladies, that guy may be acting like Matt Chandler, but their heart may be much closer to Voldemort. Or for the guys, she may act like Mother Teresa, when actually she is more like the Wicked Witch of the West. (Just saying, you may want to draw the line when they start laughing like the Wicked Witch… J/K) – Whatever the case, please be careful. Be honest with yourself about the other persons good and bad qualities. It’s okay to be skeptical when looking for a relationship online. Be cautious over careless.
PRO – Long distance, online relationships can provide a more healthy way of getting to know someone over an extended period of time. This one definitely doesn’t apply to everyone. But in the case of Melissa and I meeting and getting to know each other online for a few months before we met each other, it worked out great. I felt more relaxed and less likely to rush things. For at least two months, we were merely writing to encourage each other as friends in Jesus. And I think this allowed for a much more solid foundation for our relationship to grow from.
CON – Those in Long Distance Online relationships don’t get to spend very much time in person. The worst part of carrying on the long distance thing with Melissa for six or seven months before we got married was, I hardly ever got to see her in person. And there is something to be said for spending time together. I think it’s just harder to fake things when you are face to face.
PRO – There are a lot of “Jesus is truly my everything” Christians out there on the Online Dating Websites. I only know this because as I alluded to before, there are numerous stories I’ve heard about Christians finding a wonderful mate through online dating. So they are out there.
CON – There are a lot of people who think they love Jesus but really don’t, on Online Dating Websites. To say that it is always simple to discern between those who are genuinely Christ followers, and those who are merely convinced they are, would be a lie. Sometimes their sheep disguise just covers right over their wolfish interior. But, the reality is, this shouldn’t stop us from online dating because we must wade these waters whether we are offline or online. – Suffice it to say, the easiest way to tell a “Christian” from a Christian is to listen to what motivates them. Do they use Jesus for selfish ambition, or are they devoted to following Christ for His glory’s sake?
In conclusion, if you were to force me to choose, I would say that Christian Online Dating can be good… and bad. But so can dating offline. It seems to me that we run into many of the same issues from different vantage points in both fields. There are different pros and cons to both. We are not trying to discourage people from dating online or offline, but we want encourage those who are dating to do so with a Christ-centered mindset, and to proceed with caution in regards to what is real.
What do you think about Online Dating? We would love to hear your opinion. Please share in the comments below.
Love Uncensored 
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